I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize