Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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