Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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