11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize