why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
my poor anus
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize