I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
