I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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