There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
