TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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