Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
