i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
You dont lie about slip and slides
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Randomize