scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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