Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
