well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Life is so much better after having sex.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
