New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
