he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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