Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I still have a little drunk in my system
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
