love makes seman taste better
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
don't judge my taste in strippers
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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