just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Randomize
