Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
