I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
