Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
