hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
