omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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