You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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