Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
there's paper in my vomit.
I wish i was in the wii world.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
