i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
