tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
