I think my vagina is haunted
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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