I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
