I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Randomize
