Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
