My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
is this the sara with the beer cane?
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
