I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
where are you?
Hypothermia
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
