I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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