mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I stole a fireplace last night.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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