like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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