Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
