im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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