I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize