U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
