No, drunk sperm still make babies.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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