Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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