She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
