Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Randomize
