Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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