North Korea, Best Korea!
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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