I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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