He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
