How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
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