Apparently you make a good broom.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
