He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
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