We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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