I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
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