What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
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