Joe is yelling at the trees again.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
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