There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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