Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize