You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
