dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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