was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
